We had an uneventful flight – I had to pay $250 for my extra (extra large too!) bag. My ankles swelled up like crazy in the plane for some reason, so I could barely put my shoes on! I made the mistake of eating in the Paris airport – 33 euros for a quick lunch! We arrived on Wed night at about 7pm local time. Loren and Derek picked us up, we went for a quick drink and checked into a hotel as Loren hasn’t been able to secure a house. I think he wants me to choose it because he wants me to be happy with it. Anyway, the hotel is nice but around $100 per day and a meal for Ben and I about $15 for breakfast or $40 for dinner, so we don’t want to stay here too long!

There is WiFi in the hotel but it was easier to type in my room and copy to the blog page as my keyboard has problems when the computer is running on battery. I was having problems speaking French at first and understanding too, but I think it was just that my brain was full as it seems to be better now.

Thursday we ran a few errands – money, registering at the consulate, which you can apparently do online now, getting a cell phone. Each of those errands was its own lesson in patience – the first bank didn’t take traveller’s cheques, my blackberry doesn’t take a SIM card and it’s really expensive to operate one – more expensive than the plans in Canada so we bought a cheap cell phone – which has a Great Britain/Hong Kong adapter but couldn’t find an adapter head for here. Anyway! Then we visited Loren/Derek’s house and Derek’s family. Ben had fun playing with Danika and Darel and even spoke French with them. He seemed embarrassed to speak French with the adults. Loren found an old adapter for my phone but it didn’t charge. Loren took it apart and fixed it – he’s amazing at that kind of thing.

Friday we went to the farm even though neither Clark nor Carol were there. Alessan, Ben’s friend was there and showed us around. There was a dead duiker (pronounced diker) which had been bitten by a snake. We were warned about walking in the long grass, which is a problem since it’s rainy season and ALL the grass is long. We even saw a viper slinking around. Scared me for sure – Alessan went after it with a rock but it got away.

We had a less than fruitful day yesterday. Loren and I dropped Ben off at Dembele's house to play with Djamal and Rachid. The boys have grown a lot. Cita, their mom is pregnant and due in a month or so. She looks so tired, I think she was sick a lot and I mean like malaria not morning sickness. Anyway, Ben was happy to play with them. The roads in their area make Limebank in winter seem like a dream. I don't think Loren left first gear. It's only about 5km from the main road but takes at least 30 min to drive it.

Loren and I left there only to run out of gas about a km away, so he called Dembele who got us diesel - Loren had to reprime the diesel pump... by sucking the diesel into it using his mouth. I see them doing that all the time. That's gross! From there we went to a bar to meet up with the guy who has the keys of the house we were going to see. Unfortunately he wasn't there because it was raining and he doesn’t have a phone – go figure. It rained all day and everything turned into a giant red mud puddle. Loren said no one does anything during the rain. In between down pours we eventually went to see a place that no one had lived in for several months. It wasn't bad - 2 bedrooms inside bathroom and shower, living room, large yard - but the kitchen was outside way at the back of the yard and it needed SO much work we wouldn't be able to move in for several weeks.

Went back to the bar, and called another place but it was nearly $1000 per month. The other places are closer to $250. I will have to purchase the furniture for it though. To buy a house would be about $35 - 40k plus the other costs of transfer, and setting up utilities, and furnishing. We went back to pick Ben up - Djamal came back with us - and we ended up getting stuck in the mud. Finally we got back to the hotel around 9pm - what a waste of 12 hours! Carol called me before I left to say 2 things: not to get discouraged by the rain, and that nothing moves quickly so have patience. Useful advice in just the first few days.
So here we are on Sunday – I have Djamal and Ben playing outside, something I would never do at home, just let the kids roam around by themselves. I may have a hard time pulling Ben back when we get back to Canada.
I asked about schools and found out that they are a little different here. They have something called CP1 and 2. 1 is for kids who don’t really speak French – to bring everyone up to speed as there are a lot of kids who only speak their dialect. CP 2 is like grade 1. Then there are 4 more levels of primary grades, 4 levels of intermediate grades and 3 high school levels of which the names are very confusing. The higher your grade, the lower the number – i.e. level 1 is like grade 11 and level 2 is grade 10. The last grade is called “terminale” or “the last grade”. Amusing.
As for health, so far we both have diarrhea and I have a stomachache – I have Ben on probiotics so I suspect that is why his stomach doesn’t hurt. Trying to keep us hydrated and fed as eating times (and types of food) are quite different.
Ben mentioned going home a couple times, but seems happier now that he has Djamal to play with. He hasn’t played with his DS once yet while here. So that’s the update. My phone number is 011 226 76 56 81 82.
Hope everyone is well.

Ok lots of people seem to want to know what I'm bringing. I couldn't really answer before because I was still thinking about it and even now, I still have to sort my bags and I'm sure something will have to get left out.

We get 2 bags each at 50lbs a piece so that's 200 lbs of stuff. Except the bags have weight too, about 12 lbs a piece so really we get about 150 lbs. It costs $200 to bring an extra bag (up to 50lbs or 40 minus the bag weight) and it costs $60 to have a bag weigh more than 50 but less than 70 lbs. Logically then one just adds 20 lbs to each bag, and that is cheaper. It's just REALLY heavy and might rip your bag. SOO much to think about when packing.

So the contents. I told Ben he could have one bag of toys and books. That worked out to 38lbs in his 12 lb bag. He had to do 3 cuts: the first to purge toys he no longer wanted, a second cut to put some toys in storage and some that he wanted to bring - second cut resulted in 90 lbs of toys and books, so he did a third cut that brought him down to the required weight. I was surprised by some of his choices. I added some stuff back in because I felt bad, and i will just deal with the extra cost.

We're bringing about 3 weeks worth of clothes and footwear. You can buy stuff there or have it made - shoes are harder. But really there is hot season, rainy season (which is hot but also humid) and "winter" which is dry but gets down to 5 oC sometimes so requires sweaters and shell jackets. I think for the 2 of us, we have about 70 lbs of clothes/footwear.

Housewares: Loren never really said what the house would have. You can get stuff there but I figured I have it and generally the quality you can buy in BF is not that good. So I brought some kitchen stuff like goodknives, can openers, tupperware, lifters and cutlery. I debated on bringing pots and pans and may yet since much of their stuff is aluminum there. I'm bringing a few towels and sheets just to get us started as well as a couple pillows. It should also help Ben feel a bit like home. I also am bringing a therapy ball and some resistance bands - weights would be a little heavy! I am bringing some weapons to practice with (foam nunchuks and a bo)

Books, I'm bringing about 40 lbs of books to read - everything from religion to economics to management. I remember last time wishing I had brought more books with me. I hope to find a good online e-book seller so if anyone knows of one, I'd be grateful.

Toilettries and medication: again, can get a lot of stuff there but am bringing anti-malarials and some anti-biotics. A bunch of vitamins mostly because it can be hard to get vegetables. Sunscreen, bug itch and Off. The brand of facewash I like, shampoo and conditioners, moisturizer, some make up. Probiotics, omega 3s, calcium. I have no idea how much this might weigh. Will probably have to cut it back.

Stuff I'd like to bring but can't justify or might ask someone to bring when they come: a keyboard/digital piano, microwave -they may have them there, I don't know. My sparring gear and karate gi.

So I figure I am well over my alloted weight limit, I hope to keep the excess cost to under $300, we'll see how successful I am.

It's funny though. This is a puzzle that my brain likes but is tough to optimize. I've spent a lot of time thinking about it and I know it is one of those things that keeps running in the back of my head that causes me to lose part of my brain use for the everyday stuff. So I get forgetful and more stressed.

Still lots of stuff left on the list to do: finish packing, finish visiting. medical claims and 2010 taxes, photo album. Not difficult just time consuming. Something I'm a little short of at the moment.

I think people who really know me will find this funny or ironic or something. I have a lot of people asking me what's happening on the other end, like when we arrive. Where will we live?Where will Ben go to school? What kind of work will I do? I really don't have answers to any of these questions. Part of it is that there is just too much to worry about on this end that I don't have time to consider the other end. Part of it is that there is very little I CAN do from here, without spending thousands on phone bills and even then may not get the best result. Part of it is that this is a partnership, so I'm leaving some of the details to my partner, Loren, to sort out. I sent one email asking about schools, and he got on it - he recently called to say he found a very highly recommended bilingual school (english and french) and has a couple potential houses lined up in the south of the city, but hasn't secured anything at the moment. Part of it is I have confidence in myself to get it resolved when I get there if I need to however challenging that might be.

I wonder/worry about Ben fitting in, making friends, being happy, staying safe, staying healthy - we wrestled with what additional vaccines to get him (rabies? probability of being bitten is low to medium but is fatal and the vaccine costs $600 here - resolved through 1 call to a friend who said I can get the shots there). I worry about his relationship with his dad and my ability to support him/them.

The reason people might find this all very interesting is they know that I am a control freak and wonder if not having control might kill me. I'm sure there is at least a small corner of my brain that is fretting about it, the bit of hardware in the background that is running a program and slowing up the software in the front. I can't help but worry a bit when I let myself think about it, but I give much of that up to prayer. Matthew 6:25-34 says it all - "who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"... "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." - that last part always makes me laugh.

What is killing me is that I don't feel like I'm doing this all that well (leave it to me to not only pick a challenge but decide I have to perform well with it). I feel very bad about leaving work early in order to have enough time to pack. As it is, I'm not going to make it without help. The other thing bugging me is how much weight I'm gaining because I eat when I'm stressed and I'm too tired and sore to exercise (somehow lugging boxes doesn't seem to constitute exercise). It's just 2 -3 pounds every months but not much fits anymore and over the last 8 months it has really added up. There is a paradox in there that if I would just go to karate I would probably feel more energized but it is hard to convince myself of that when I feel like my legs are going to break from going up and down the stairs with heavy boxes and I'm mentally and physically wiped from packing/cleaning/purging/sorting/organizing. I did realize that there was a part of me avoiding black belt class because I don't want to see all those people who gave me a hard time about getting my belt so fast - I'm tired of feeling bad around them - but I'm feeling bad because I don't make it to class and I really want to go. All this feeling bad is very tiring! (I can hear my friends laughing at my neuroticism!)

Doing this by yourself is quite draining as well. I hired a girl off kijiji to help with cleaning and I found just having her around to help - move boxes, pack some stuff, go to the store with me - made me feel better and I was more productive. I don't even know her, she's a nice enough kid and quite hard working. But really what it comes down to is kinda like it's easier to be brave when there is someone else to be brave for. It's easier to be motivated and organized when you have someone to be that way for. I have to be organized when she comes over or she has nothing to do. It cuts the work in half and I don't feel so overwhelmed. I am starting to see where all those studies are coming from that say if you are married/have a partner, you live longer and have less stress. I know I can call on my friends but even that has it's own burden.

I might have said this before but the other thing is the logistical nightmare that this is, trying to live in your house, still needing to eat, shower, dress, play, use stuff, etc. and try to pack 2 sets of bags - stuff that stays, and stuff that's coming. That and having gained weight, what clothes do I pack? I know that within a couple months of being in Burkina, I will be back to 155/size 8 but none of that fits at the moment. So I end up taking at least 2 sizes of clothes with me as well.

I have about 14 days til I have to be done packing (it's more but we're away for 5 days this weekend). I have a few days after we move out to do other stuff, like get visas, traveller's cheques, buy a laptop that don't need to be done right this minute. According to my schedule, it's not going to be done (I know it always does - usually by staying up for the last 3 days straight - I can sleep on the plane I guess!). So if I see you and I look a little wild eyed (or sleepy!) it's not you.

Ok I'm good now. Venting done, time to get back to it. Thanks for listening!

I spent this weekend enjoyably with several people I was never supposed to be friends with.

As a federal public servant my obvious masters are the political ones who would like it very much if we (civil servants) could stay very clinically detached from our stakeholders. But in Environment (and I'm sure this must happen in other areas too but I think it's very strong in areas like Environment) you meet people who are so passionate about their work, and not in an egotistical way, where it truly is about their love for the planet, the science and technology and innovation that can be used to save it, and their drive for integrity in their problem solving. It is hard not to fall in love with them, to feel a kindred sense of purpose, to be inspired at their dedication. I spent Sunday evening with people who are stakeholders in the program I am have been slaving away at for three years. I've spent a lot of time talking ideas, hearing their concerns, sharing stories with them, and feel painfully aware of the void I will have in my life as I wander out of the circle of influence. I'm not worried they will forget me, or that we will have nothing in common as I turn a corner (ha - that one is for you Karen)., more I worry that I will want to talk to them, want to share more of it with them, and they will be out of reach. (yes I know there is email etc, but I'm really a face to face kind of person - technology doesn't really cut it for me). They are as much my family as my real family are.

Saturday night was spent with a bunch of young men (yes Don, you can count as a young man for the purpose - I'm taking a bit of artistic license). Now don't get any ideas. Yes these are the same men who used to bruise me regularly when I saw them. I know I'm not making the image any better am I? :) I was out with my friends from karate, some of whom I haven't seen in awhile and I became painfully aware of how much I had missed seeing them (see previous paragraph comment about being a face to face person). I feel like God has been slowly weaning me off karate and my friends from there so it isn't so painful at the end. I'd spend hours talking to Fred about fighting at work, and he taught nearly ever class I was in for over a year. And Colton, hours on MSN talking about all sorts of stuff. These boys are half my age but closer friends than I've made in a long while. Plus Don, Alex, (and others from Bergeron who weren't present), will leave a big hole, that's hard to fill.

I've been deeply blessed moving here to Ottawa and meeting all these people who have inspired me in so many different ways and who I care about so much. It seems ironic to me that I am finally in a place where I've met people I don't want to leave behind - a first for me - I'm usually so busy looking forward, to what's next, that it never occurs to me that I could miss someone. Must be getting sentimental in my old age...

Wife-beater t-shirt and greasy cigar are apparently optional. lol

So I have a tenant- praise God!! And it's a really nice family. I hope this all works out. We've signed the lease for the year and they are clear that I could come back at the end of it and they'd have to move. We'll see what happens. The deal is even sweeter because they are going to use a lot of my furniture so really the only furniture I need to move is my piano to my sister's house and my bed. Now for the really great thing... in exchange for lowering the rent a little bit, they offered to let me store all my stuff in the basement instead of having to take it to storage. That's huge!! Overall I'm spending less money since the amount I lowered the rent by is less than the cost of the storage - but more importantly, it probably saves me several days. And as I look at the calendar and see how few days there are left (9 1/2 weeks... ominous film reference) a few days is worth quite a bit.

Anyway, the calendar is filling quite rapidly and I'm starting to feel a little frantic. We crashed this weekend since it was the first weekend in months we didn't have a commitment. Ben and I both slept in AND had naps. I think next weekend shall be the garage sale. I am home Wed Thu and Fri to some cleaning, purging, packing and yard work (getting people in to help).

We'll be in Toronto Aug 10 - 13, Guelph Aug 14 - 17, Collingwood Aug 18 - 20, Niagara Falls Aug 20 - 23 and back to Ottawa just before we go -so the last 2 weeks are completely spoken for. The rest is filling up pretty quickly too...

Just thought I'd summarize the important dates for people so they don't have to search through all my ravings and maunderings to find out when we leave.

Last day at work (official) - August 14 but I have taken the whole week before it as vacation and intend on using much of my sick leave as well. I will need it for my mental health and probably for other people's phyiscal health so I don't kill someone!

Visit to S.W. Ontario to say good bye - July 17 - 19; and (approximately) August 15 - 23, maybe earlier depending on if we go on the XCIV annual canoe trip or not on Aug 7 - 9.

Benny's plans: school finishes June 25, trampoline camp June 29 - July 10, Gramma's place in Toronto July 11 to 18. And of course spending as much time with his "buds" Josh, Alessandro, and Aidan.

And the ever important Departure date: Tuesday August 25th at 5PM from Ottawa Rail Station. We take an Air France bus to Montreal, fly to Paris at 11PM, have a 4 hour layover and transfer to Ouaga arriving around 9PM local time or 4PM EST. Not too bad - one of the shorter flights, about 25 hours door to door. Maybe with such a late flight, Ben will sleep on the way to Paris. I'm sure he'll be anxious/excited so we'll see. Last time he was awake for hours!!

It happened Monday morning following my black belt exam... I felt the immediate need to start packing. This is the ongoing challenge of packing for multiple scenarios - I don't need it anymore, I need it now but will pitch it when we leave, store it now, need it now but will store it when we leave, taking it but need it now so will pack it when we leave... etc. all that times 2 - once for me, once for Ben.

I have the list of stuff to bring which of course is a lot, probably too much. When i actually compile it, I will reassess. I have more things to do than I could complete if I had til October to do all this stuff, and at the moment we stand about 8 weeks from moving out and 11 from leaving.

To make it worse, in all the stress and training I've gained 20 lbs so nothing fits but I'm extremely reluctant to buy any clothes if they aren't on the list... but even then what size to buy? I KNOW I will lose it all in Africa and possibly more so if I buy it to fit now, it won't fit within a few months of arriving. Each time I've lost about 10 lbs in the first MONTH.

As for stuff, ideally I'd like to go with the philosophy of "do I love, do I have to have it (tax stuff, legal stuff etc), does it have sentimental value" but I know that I can't be that ruthless. I can't even do it for Ben's stuff! He's doing better than I am! He's already filled 2 boxes for giving away. I debate culling some of his things so I don't have to store stuff that I'm pretty sure he won't miss in a year like his trains/Thomas stuff and some of his stuffed animals (he has 20 dogs! I havent' counted the rest!) but a friend warned me against that. I have already rented a 10 x 10' storage room, but if I have to store all my furniture, I'm going to need more space!! It's a tough thing to balance - I'll save myself $2000 if I don't need the space plus whatever I sell it for, but then I'll need to replace after and that will be more than what I save/make out of all that. I guess the added bonus would be not having to move it all! And that is worth a lot too!

Too many decisions to be made all at once.